failPod

Hi, hotshots

Reasons why I want a new iPod to replace my current one:

(in nice clear format, in order of irritation levels caused with 1 being quite mild, and 5... well.)



1. The new iPod looks cooler. Except for the iPod Touch, I don;'t know why but it irritates me. It's trying to be an iPhone, it's not quite as good as an iPhone. It's an iPhone that doesn't make calls. What? What's the point?

2. I called it 'Titanic', 'Matchbox Mansion', and 'Spindler', just to watch them sync (sink, get it? Yeah...). The first is a clear reference, the other two were boats I made out of conker shells, leaves and twigs when I was living by a canal. This isn't really a reason, but I think syncing it as the Titanic might have been a bad omen from the start.
It is now called failPod.

3. It's stuck in a language I don't understand or recognize. With words like ""hubda"". This is slightly embarrassing. And I need to keep explaining that I am not bilingual. I'm just good at ruining technology. It refuses to revert to English, no matter how much I beg, and is probably sulking at me for reason 4.

4. I try putting new songs onto it and it panics, the bastard totally loses it. This is because my iPod is old hipster generation, and it has the same memory capacity as a squirrel trying to remember where it left last season's nuts.

4 1/2. It genuinely does forgets songs. What kind of iPod is this?! 

4 1/4. Seriously. It holds maybe half a song at a time. Slight exaggeration. 

5. My iPod randomly switches itself off, and refuses to come back to life without overnight charging. My laziness is now proved to be contagious. 

Good riddance.